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15 Things All Badass, Fearless Alpha-Women Do Differently

Originally published by  Brenda Della Casa at Thought Catalog at

There’s a quote by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich that states: “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” It’s a often posted on Pinterest boards and slapped onto cards with women in 1920s-fashion kicking up their heels in unison. But for me, this sentiment is more than encouragement to go on a girls trip and go wild; it’s a celebration of women who choose to be defined by their courage, bravery and decisions to go after the life they want to live instead of being confined by “appropriateness.” Call them bold, fearless, or powerful, these are women who light up a room with their magnetic energy. They intimidate the close-minded and inspire those who have long hungered for tangible proof that they, too, will serve themselves well by igniting their passions and relishing in their independence. I know a few of them very well and they have changed my life (and helped me to unleash my own inner badass). Here are fifteen things alpha-women do differently:

#1. They cultivate a life they actually enjoy living:

Whether they’re single, coupled or in that complicated gray area, they commit to creating and living a life they love. While they may not feel 100% comfortable initially, they push themselves to take the class, book the ticket, try the restaurant and understand that life won’t wait for them if they’re choosing to wait for a specific someone to enjoy it with.

#2. They make their move.

Whether it’s walking up to a stranger and saying hello, putting in an offer for an apartment they want or asking their boss for more responsibility, bold women would rather risk hearing “no” than sit on the sidelines and hope someone else will bring them the opportunity they desire.

#3. They don’t put themselves down.

Very few men and women walk this earth feeling one hundred percent happy with their looks and life one hundred percent of the time. But fearless alpha women accept the fact that there will always be someone younger, smarter and thinner than they are and don’t stress it because, well, that’s not the point. These women know they’re not defined by any one attribute (and certainly not by something as small as a few dimples on their backside.) They know they’re a whole package and that package is so f*cking awesome it demands to be spoken about with respect.

#4. They don’t need a boyfriend but they’re open to having a partner.

In a world that treats singledom as a disease that needs to be treated, it’s refreshing to meet a woman who’s not only OK being on her own but unwilling to compromise the time she spends with friends, on her career, or enjoying hobbies just to have any old someone in her life. Fearless women aren’t looking for a savior, a benefactor or boy toy. In fact, they are not even looking. The bold and fearless women is, however, excited when she meets a man who understands her, accepts her, respects her, respects himself and is looking in the same direction as she is.

#5. They don’t waste time wishing.

We all have situations we wish would have gone differently but a bold woman knows that the only thing the past can do for her is serve as a lesson in how to do better for herself here in the now.

#6. They call people out.

They aren’t the type of women who will sit silently in front of someone feeling disrespected or violated and then cry about it over cocktails. They will call those people out, set a boundary in place and move forward right then and there.

#7. They know when to walk away.

They know that bending themselves backwards, forward (and backwards again) in an attempt to make something work — a friendship, a relationship, a failed decision – usually means they’re investing time and energy into something that isn’t offering respectable returns.

#8. They expect FaceTime.

Witty text sessions can serve as fabulous foreplay in-between dates but spending day-after-day texting a guy you never meet? Fearless and focused women are not looking for pen-pals. Instead of spending hours replying to winky faces, these women encourage face-to-face contact because they know that any man who’s serious about them will want to see their real smile in real time.

#9. They give themselves a real chance to meet someone.

Swiping right has it’s place and has made some real-life connections, but these ladies know there’s a real value in getting out into the world and having human interaction in a space that’s supportive of an introduction. They enjoy the clubs with their girlfriends but aren’t afraid to pop into a sports bar, networking event, museum opening, gallery showcase or even a trip with a carefully curated guestlist.

#10. They don’t pretend they’re on an episode of “The Bachelor.”

Compete for a man’s attention and affections? You’re kidding, right?

#11. They also don’t pretend they’re a Kardashian.

They aspire to be a star in reality over a reality star.

#12. They see themselves as an investment.

They take pride in themselves. From their word, work ethic and reputation to their friendships, manicure and handshake, these are the women who invest in themselves without the slightest bit of apology.

#13. They don’t play the victim.

They know people will do things to let them down and even screw them over — such is life. What they won’t do is re-live that scenario a million times over. They know they are in full and total control of how they react to a situation and when the going get’s tough, they learn their lesson, roll up their sleeves and get tougher.

#14. They dare to go for it.

Whatever “it” is — the job, the guy, the bucket-list experience or adopting a baby on their own, these women think things through, make a plan and bring their own unique idea of happiness into fruition.

#15. They would never put their lives on hold to accommodate someone else’s idea of who they should be.

Instead, they get into the driver’s seat, turn-up their favorite tunes and go in the direction of their dreams.

Love Is In Small Things

More info: grafolio | Facebook

Artist “Puuung” captures those little moments that make love whole in these heartwarming illustrations. In relationships, every-day interactions are more important than grand gestures—basically, don't forget the small things.

Love is something that everybody can relate to. And Love comes in ways that we can easily overlook in our daily lives. So, I try to find the meaning of love in our daily lives and make it into artwork,” writes Puuung on Facebook.

Look over the following list. Which image best captures what love is to you? Vote on your favorite, or share a personal experience that best matches an image in the comments below.

3 Steps To Not Play The Victim Role in Life Anymore

Writen by Jana Moreno at Blog

We have all done it at some point in our lives:  we have played the role of the victim.  While this isn’t good or bad per say, it does often lead to not only a certain set of results, but if left uncorrected these results can and often do repeat themselves over and over again in different experiences.

I don’t talk about being a victim lightly.  I have had my experiences of rape and fraud on what many would consider a grand scale; but I would never call myself as such.  While this article may upset many, I do believe this is important to look at even if it is uncomfortable.  The intention here is not to shame or tell people who have experienced and lived through horrifying experiences that ‘they deserved it’ or that ‘they brought it on themselves,’ but to bring people into the light of empowerment.  Yes, perceived horrible things might have happened, but a person does not need to continuously relive the experiences over and over and at the expense of their inner peace.  So the intention of this article is to call people to rise to another level of responsibility and empowerment instead of dwelling in victim-hood which ultimately does not serve them or the people around them.  One cannot be empowered and a victim at the same time; we can only choose one of these spaces to dwell in.

    We do create our Life experiences; but the thing is that many of us are not even aware of what is going on within us subconsciously until an experience makes itself known and begins unfolding.  This happened with me when I discovered that a close family member had been committing fraud for years and racked up a debt in my name of $300,000 USD.  But within a few months of discovering the depth of this fraud, it had been cleared from my name without taking this person to court and without me needing to find a way to pay it off. In the end, I filed for bankruptcy.  I felt infuriated, betrayed and a rage that made my physical body shake.  Here I was, $300,000 USD in debt and I didn’t even get to enjoy it.  I didn’t travel, or invest, or buy a home or even have a chance to save up for my daughter’s education.  I didn’t get a car or anything out of it other than a few phone calls and these feelings of anger, rage and shame.  In short, I have never experienced such feelings of betrayal as I did then.

    But luckily for me, being in this line of work does come with its’ benefits; one being that I was equipped with tools and knowledge for freeing myself of this pattern and information replaying.  I no longer feel like a victim.  In fact, I owned up to my participation in this unfolding completely.  It is always easy to say that someone else took advantage; that someone else DID this to me, but in the end I was also participating; lest this might not have unfolded.

    Without further ado, here are 3 Steps to not playing the victim anymore:

    1) Awareness of your participation

    First and foremost, before we can begin freeing ourselves of anything, we must first become aware of our participation in it.  In any event in our lives, whenever we ‘lose’ ourselves in something we are participating in it in some way.  It would have been easy for me to say that I had no part in the $300,000 debt, but the fact that it showed up in my Life was proof enough to me that I had been participating in something…and in my case I was participating by not wanting to see it.

    So with whatever injustice you have experienced understand that it cannot unfold in your Life experience without your participation.  Again, I am not trying to anger people~ I am simply pointing to a different way of seeing things.  And I don’t say that lightly~ I have experienced many things in my Life where it would be easier to blame someone else, to be a victim.  That is easy.  It is much more difficult to acknowledge oneself as the creator and captain of their life and own up to whatever unfolds.  Ultimately though, owning up to it and course-correcting is the path that leads to a lighter and more peaceful Life experience.  There are many unseen forces at work here: Dr. David Hawkins calls them attractor patterns, and as we begin understanding and becoming more aware of how we are, the more we can free ourselves from unnecessary suffering.

    So whatever event unfolds in your Life, understand that you are participating in it in some way either seen or unseen.  There are people who live in opulence from poverty-ridden backgrounds and there are people who experience poverty from very wealthy families. There could be a million reasons for why things are as they are, and to attempt to understand them all with our level of awareness is a massive undertaking; so first let us look at our role in the events that unfold.

    How did I participate in the unfolding of this event?  

    What role did I play?

    Is there any secret or hidden payoffs I am getting from playing this role?

    Being honest and asking these questions prompts us to be more self- aware of how it is we are participating in the events.


    2) Owning up to your participation

    While this isn’t easy, it is important to take responsibility and own up to our participation.  For me and the fraud, I had to own up to the fact that I was too afraid to do something when I began suspecting it a few years ago.  My sister had mentioned something in passing which served as a red flag for me, but I was too afraid to look at it.  The person who was committing the fraud was someone I loved dearly and I was so afraid of losing their love that I didn’t want to see it.  I brought it up to that person a few times, but it always ended in fighting and me being told, “I don’t know what I am talking about,” and things of this nature.  That being said, I kept my head down all the while feeling a subtle intuitive nudge that said, “Something is off here.”

    So that was my participation.  Out of fear I avoided confrontation until the confrontation made itself known in the amount of $300,000.  It hurt, it was daunting and horrifying for me.  Where was I going to get $300,000 USD to clean this up?

    So in the experiences where you played the role of the victim, how did you participate?  What did you do or not do to end up at that end result?  And what did it cost you to participate?  For me, it cost me a relationship, it had an effect on my family life, my peace of mind and my emotional well-being.  It also required that I find a lawyer and file for bankruptcy which wasn’t fun to say the least.  But that is what unfolded after I was too afraid to confront it.

    3) Choose a different course of action

    For me, playing a victim meant that I played small; I made myself small and insignificant energetically.  It was a role of feeling and being powerless and playing this role in Life begets a certain set of results.  I had the intuitive nudge a few years ago, I knew something was off when this person became incredibly defensive when I asked them about it, and over the years that I held this energy of subtle discomfort, it manifested in my Life as a massive discomfort.  This is creation in motion.  To have subtle feelings and hold them over time without really acknowledging or releasing them gives birth to experiences.

    Since this unfolding, I am now debt-free and have never paid so much intense attention to my subtle inner states.  When something feels off, I listen now without second-guessing or bringing my mind into it.  Even if it means losing a client or a friend.

    What can you do differently from now on?  

    How can you set yourself and others around you up for success in the future?

    What can you do, not to prevent this from happening in the future, to ensure a set of different results? 

    These questions and their respective answers will support in making more informed decisions in the future.


      Am I sad that this happened?  Of course.


      Is this the first time I have felt betrayed?  NOPE (this questions points to an underlying pattern)!

      Can I see how I participated in it?  Yes.

      What was the driving force of the manner of my participation?  Fear.  I was afraid of losing love from this person who ultimately used my credit without my knowing.  I was afraid of losing our relationship which eventually was lost anyways after the unfolding of this event.

      Could it have been avoided? I am not sure, but I do know that this was a necessary learning experience for me…otherwise it might not have unfolded…or worse, I would have to learn it over and over again in different experiences.


      In summary, owning up to our participation in events is a massive key in coming into our own power and in being responsible.  In this unfavorable event I found my power, my respond-ability and could stand tall despite its’ unfolding.  I would choose this any day over feeling small, insignificant and powerless.  So if you are experiencing something unwanted, remember this article so that you can begin freeing yourself of it.

      10 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts: Positive Thinking Made Easy

      By Michelle Uy Originally posted on

      See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.
      — Dalai Lama

      Even though I’m a yoga teacher, I still find it’s easy to fall prey to negative thinking. Having negative thoughts play out like a movie can only bring you pain, something that I’ve experienced many times throughout my life.

      Negative thoughts drain you of energy and keep you from being in the present moment. The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become. I like the imagery of a small ball rolling along the ground, and as it rolls, it becomes bigger and faster.

      That’s what one small negative thought can turn into: a huge, speeding ball of ugliness. On the contrary, a small positive thought can have the same effect blossoming into a beautiful outcome.

      I’d like to share with you an example of how one small thought can turn into a very negative experience.

      I have lived on my own for the last ten years. Obviously during this time, I’ve grown accustomed to living in a particular way; I have my routines with cooking, cleaning, and living happily in my place.

      My boyfriend of two years, who I have had a long distance relationship with, will soon be moving here and we will be living together. Lately, I’ve had negative thoughts of moving in with him knowing that my living routine will have to change and we will have to create a new routine together.

      Unfortunately, I’ve already jumped into the future and have had thoughts that we will not be able to come up with a living arrangement that will make us both happy. In my mind, I have seen myself already getting angry about our cooking and cleaning situation.

      He came for a surprise visit this past weekend and boy, was it a surprise for him. We had a miserable weekend together.

      I did not enjoy his company because I was already angry with him, and he was confused and equally frustrated with me. What could have been a really fabulous weekend ended up being a painful and heavy weekend.

      When we start to have negative thoughts, it’s hard to stop them. And it’s much easier said than done to shift your focus to positive thoughts.But it’s the only way, especially if you want to avoid going down a path that is painful and unnecessary.

      Here are ten things I did to help overcome my negative thoughts that you can also try:

      1. Meditate or do yoga.

      One of the first things I did was head to a yoga class. It took my focus away from my thoughts and brought my attention to my breath. Yoga is also very relaxing which helped ease my mind. Yoga helped me stay present to my experience so instead of jumping to what could happen, it brought me back to the now—the only moment, the most important moment.

      2. Smile.

      I didn’t do much of this during the weekend so I literally had to bring myself in front of a mirror and force myself to smile. It really does help change your mood and relieve stress. I also felt lighter because it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown.

      3. Surround yourself with positive people.

      I called a friend who I knew could give me constructive, yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.

      4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.

      For example, instead of thinking, “We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation,” think, “We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with.”

      5. Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.

      The way I was thinking and acting, you would think I was stuck. Even if our living situation becomes unbearable, there is always a way out. I will always have the choice to make change happen, if need be.

      6. Help someone.

      Take the focus away from you and do something nice for another person.I decided to make a tray of food and donate it to the Salvation ArmyIt took my mind off of things and I felt better for helping someone else.

      7. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward.

      It’s easy to dwell on your mistakes. I felt terrible that I acted this way and that I wasted our weekend. The only thing I can do now is learn from my mistakes and move forward. I definitely don’t want to have a weekend like that again.

      8. Sing.

      I don’t remember lyrics very well and it’s probably the reason that I don’t enjoy singing, but every time I do sing I always feel better . When we sing, we show our feelings and this provides an amazing stress relief.

      9. List five things that you are grateful for right now.

      Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have. Here’s my list: My cats, health, a six-week trip to Asia, a new yoga class that I’ll be teaching, and for my mom’s biopsy coming out clean.

      10. Read positive quotes.

      I like to place Post-It notes with positive quotes on my computer, fridge door, and mirror as reminders to stay positive. Also, I’d like to share with you a quote by an unknown author that was shared in a meditation class that I attended:

      Watch your thoughts, they become words.
      Watch your words, they become actions.
      Watch your actions, they become habits.
      Watch your habits, they become your character.
      Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

      Happy positive thinking!

      11 Tips to Help You Think More Positively

      Originally posted BY PAUL SLOANE on

      You can choose to have depressing, negative thoughts or inspirational, positive thoughts; your attitude determines your mindset, which in turn determines your behaviors and the outcomes in your life. Many studies show that you will achieve more, feel happier and live longer if you chose the positive option. Here are some tips to boost your positive thinking.

      Believe in Yourself

      Successful people start with a deep inner self-belief. It has been shown that self-belief is more important than intelligence, education or connections in terms of life-long achievement. The important starting point is your conviction that you are capable of significant achievement or that you have something special to contribute.

      Set Clear Goals

      If you have no destination then your journey is haphazard. If you write down ambitious but achievable goals, then you are already on the road to accomplishing them.

      Form a Mental Picture of Your Success

      Imagine yourself achieving your goals. Savour the experience of your book being published, of making the sale, of giving the speech to rapturous applause, of winning the race, of living your dream. As your mind comes to terms with this picture it will help you to put the steps in place in order to achieve it.

      Take Ownership and Responsibility for Your Life

      Don’t be a victim. Don’t blame others or circumstances. You are the captain of the boat and you decide where it goes and what happens. If you are unhappy with an aspect of your life, then form a plan to change it and take action.

      Talk to Yourself

      Become your own motivator by telling yourself positive things. For example: at the start of the day you might say to yourself, “I am going to do really well today.” Or, “I am going to make real progress towards my goals.” When things go wrong or you falter, don’t make excuses—say something like, “That was my fault, but I can learn from that setback.”

      Eliminate the Negative

      Use positive self-talk to overcome the doubts and negative thoughts that creep into your mind. Deliberately eliminate worries about difficulties and obstacles by taking a positive attitude, “I can overcome this challenge.” You do not ignore problems—you face up to them with a constructive and optimistic attitude.

      Associate with Positive People

      Among your friends, relatives, and associates there are probably some upbeat, positive, optimistic, dynamic people and some downbeat, negative, pessimistic or cynical people. Think about them for a moment and select examples of each. You should spend more time with the positive people and less time with the negative people. The optimists will inspire and encourage you, while the pessimists will feed your doubts and make you depressed.

      Count Your Blessings

      Draw up an assets and liabilities sheet for yourself.  If you are educated, employed, healthy, in a loving relationship, financially solvent etc., then put these on the assets list. If you are unemployed, ill, in a toxic relationship, bankrupt, etc., then put these items into your liabilities list. The chances are that your assets will far outweigh your liabilities. We tend to take all the good things in our lives for granted and focus on our failings and needs instead.

      Find the Silver Lining

      Learn to look for the opportunities in every situation that comes along. Many self-employed consultants will tell you that being made redundant was the best thing that ever happened to them. At the time it may have seemed a terrible blow but now they have found greater fulfilment and satisfaction in what they do. Every change brings good as well as bad, opportunities as well as threats. The people who do well in life are the ones who use setbacks as springboards for new successes.

      Relax and Enjoy Life More

      Lighten up a little. If you can laugh at things then you can cope with them more easily.  Don’t try to do everything at once. Don’t become overburdened with work. Deliberately give yourself little treats and do things that make you smile. Laughter is the best medicine—and the cheapest—so try to keep a balance between work, exercise, relationships and play.

      Fake It.

      If all else fails then fake it.  If you are really worried, nervous, or doubtful, then pretend that you are confident and self-assured. Stride to the lectern, smile at the audience and act as though you are positive, professional and successful. Acting the role helps you develop the attitudes and behaviours that go with the part. You can fool the audience, and more importantly, you can fool your brain—you will start to be the confident, positive person that you are acting.

      If positive thinkers achieve more, live longer, and are happier than negative thinkers then why would anyone choose to be a negative thinker? The answer is that many people find negative thinking to be an easy option that is more comfortable and offers less challenge.  Do not fall into that trap. Think positively!

      What is Time: A Self-Sabotaging Theory

      Written by Alexandra Janelli, Certified Hypnotherapist

      If you asked a physicist what time is, they would begrudgingly respond that they truly have no idea what time is, or why it even exists. Some of the greatest minds in the world might have theories. However, they will undoubtably admit that they haven't quite figured out why it exists. 

      But what if you could make the following assumptions about time:

      1. Time is the distance between cause & effect
      2. Time is the separation between action & reaction
      3. Time is the space between activity & repercussion (example: divide between crime and consequence)

      This theory assumes that time has to do with reactivity to stimuli and any behavior we react to can....AND SHOULD....elicit a response in the form of a consquence or reward. Typically, we as humans tend to want the reward right away. Leading to robotic, impulsive, and strategically calculated behaviors all to get the immediate satisfaction. However, sometimes the gap between the action/reward can be too prolonged therefore, inhibiting us in making a better choice or a mindful choice.

      When we become programed to react in a behavioral way that is robotic in order to gain a response (positive or negative) we lack any form of consciousness or mindfulness. We lack the ability to really assess and reassess our actions in order to promote healthier ways of coping with the present. In fact, our old coping tools become obsolete and yet we have no idea how to change them! Thus, we have become a society plagued with anxiety. In other words, we have become a society plagued with short-term reward seeking in order to help us feel fulfillment immediately. 

      But this doesn't work very well in the long run. Short-term quick fixes, do not lead to long-term solutions and our souls desire for a more peaceful life remains untended to and needy. Our anxiety becomes a sign that we are constantly worrying about tomorrow in order to avoid what we are not doing TODAY! 

      Being present has become a more and more popular topic along side mindfulness and consciousness. We as a society have become more and more aware that immediate and impulsive reactiveness does not equate to long term happiness. For example, the short term satisfaction of buying a new toy does not mean you will love it forever. Truly, your love of it will fade and its reward becomes obsolete. In fact, the fast track of change usually does not value the development of concrete tools and skills that can help us face the challenges and noise that will constantly surround us in our daily lives. Sometimes the slower the development the more advanced we can become. However, this is not the typical view on life as WE WANT IT NOW syndrome rules our minds. 

      Take for example the comparison of a human baby and a calf. Upon being born a baby is without any tools for survival. The calf, however, is walking within the hour. If an alien landed on earth with no knowledge of either species, it may come to the conclusion that the calf was a more advanced species based on its faster developmental abilities. In the face of a fire, the calf would more more apt and capable to survival than a baby. However, over TIME, a baby will become the more advanced of the species. Thus the theory becomes:

      What takes longer to develop is less advanced


      If we as a society can begin to learn to be more tolerant of the idea of time, as it pertains to actions and rewards, we will begin to see how our consciousness and mindfulness can begin to develop. Allowing us to become a more advanced and better version of ourselves. 

      Step back from your life and begin to question TIME and your assumptions you make around it. Does the short-term gain always seem to outweigh the thought or actualization of the long-term benefits? Are you acting impulsively and robotically? What is the bigger picture that you are not seeing in a moment that you are acting impulsively. What are you avoiding dealing with that truly NEEDS that immediate satisfaction?

      Remember: a robot lacks consciousness and freewill. If you had the ability to step back from emotions, stress, and consuming thoughts and were give a CHOICE and the ability to exercise freewill, and tap into your intuition.......What would you do with or without the presence of TIME. 

      In present day: its not survival of the fittest, but those willing to adapt their way of life to gain great things between the action and the reward. 


      theories and information from: The Power of Kabbalah by Yehuda Berg




      The Moral Bucket List

      an Op-Ed by David Brooks from the New York Times
      David Brooks is an Op-Ed columnist and the author, most recently, of “The Road to Character,” from which this essay is adapted.

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      ABOUT once a month I run across a person who radiates an inner light. These people can be in any walk of life. They seem deeply good. They listen well. They make you feel funny and valued. You often catch them looking after other people and as they do so their laugh is musical and their manner is infused with gratitude. They are not thinking about what wonderful work they are doing. They are not thinking about themselves at all.

      When I meet such a person it brightens my whole day. But I confess I often have a sadder thought: It occurs to me that I’ve achieved a decent level of career success, but I have not achieved that. I have not achieved that generosity of spirit, or that depth of character.

      A few years ago I realized that I wanted to be a bit more like those people. I realized that if I wanted to do that I was going to have to work harder to save my own soul. I was going to have to have the sort of moral adventures that produce that kind of goodness. I was going to have to be better at balancing my life.

      It occurred to me that there were two sets of virtues, the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral — whether you were kind, brave, honest or faithful. Were you capable of deep love?

      We all know that the eulogy virtues are more important than the résumé ones. But our culture and our educational systems spend more time teaching the skills and strategies you need for career success than the qualities you need to radiate that sort of inner light. Many of us are clearer on how to build an external career than on how to build inner character.

      But if you live for external achievement, years pass and the deepest parts of you go unexplored and unstructured. You lack a moral vocabulary. It is easy to slip into a self-satisfied moral mediocrity. You grade yourself on a forgiving curve. You figure as long as you are not obviously hurting anybody and people seem to like you, you must be O.K. But you live with an unconscious boredom, separated from the deepest meaning of life and the highest moral joys. Gradually, a humiliating gap opens between your actual self and your desired self, between you and those incandescent souls you sometimes meet.

      So a few years ago I set out to discover how those deeply good people got that way. I didn’t know if I could follow their road to character (I’m a pundit, more or less paid to appear smarter and better than I really am). But I at least wanted to know what the road looked like.

      I came to the conclusion that wonderful people are made, not born — that the people I admired had achieved an unfakeable inner virtue, built slowly from specific moral and spiritual accomplishments.

      If we wanted to be gimmicky, we could say these accomplishments amounted to a moral bucket list, the experiences one should have on the way toward the richest possible inner life. Here, quickly, are some of them:

      THE HUMILITY SHIFT We live in the culture of the Big Me. The meritocracy wants you to promote yourself. Social media wants you to broadcast a highlight reel of your life. Your parents and teachers were always telling you how wonderful you were.

      But all the people I’ve ever deeply admired are profoundly honest about their own weaknesses. They have identified their core sin, whether it is selfishness, the desperate need for approval, cowardice, hardheartedness or whatever. They have traced how that core sin leads to the behavior that makes them feel ashamed. They have achieved a profound humility, which has best been defined as an intense self-awareness from a position of other-centeredness.

      SELF-DEFEAT External success is achieved through competition with others. But character is built during the confrontation with your own weakness. Dwight Eisenhower, for example, realized early on that his core sin was his temper. He developed a moderate, cheerful exterior because he knew he needed to project optimism and confidence to lead. He did silly things to tame his anger. He took the names of the people he hated, wrote them down on slips of paper and tore them up and threw them in the garbage. Over a lifetime of self-confrontation, he developed a mature temperament. He made himself strong in his weakest places.

      THE DEPENDENCY LEAP Many people give away the book “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” as a graduation gift. This book suggests that life is an autonomous journey. We master certain skills and experience adventures and certain challenges on our way to individual success. This individualist worldview suggests that character is this little iron figure of willpower inside. But people on the road to character understand that no person can achieve self-mastery on his or her own. Individual will, reason and compassion are not strong enough to consistently defeat selfishness, pride and self-deception. We all need redemptive assistance from outside.

      People on this road see life as a process of commitment making. Character is defined by how deeply rooted you are. Have you developed deep connections that hold you up in times of challenge and push you toward the good? In the realm of the intellect, a person of character has achieved a settled philosophy about fundamental things. In the realm of emotion, she is embedded in a web of unconditional loves. In the realm of action, she is committed to tasks that can’t be completed in a single lifetime.

      ENERGIZING LOVE Dorothy Day led a disorganized life when she was young: drinking, carousing, a suicide attempt or two, following her desires, unable to find direction. But the birth of her daughter changed her. She wrote of that birth, “If I had written the greatest book, composed the greatest symphony, painted the most beautiful painting or carved the most exquisite figure I could not have felt the more exalted creator than I did when they placed my child in my arms.”

      That kind of love decenters the self. It reminds you that your true riches are in another. Most of all, this love electrifies. It puts you in a state of need and makes it delightful to serve what you love. Day’s love for her daughter spilled outward and upward. As she wrote, “No human creature could receive or contain so vast a flood of love and joy as I often felt after the birth of my child. With this came the need to worship, to adore.”

      She made unshakable commitments in all directions. She became a Catholic, started a radical newspaper, opened settlement houses for the poor and lived among the poor, embracing shared poverty as a way to build community, to not only do good, but be good. This gift of love overcame, sometimes, the natural self-centeredness all of us feel.

      THE CALL WITHIN THE CALL We all go into professions for many reasons: money, status, security. But some people have experiences that turn a career into a calling. These experiences quiet the self. All that matters is living up to the standard of excellence inherent in their craft.

      Frances Perkins was a young woman who was an activist for progressive causes at the start of the 20th century. She was polite and a bit genteel. But one day she stumbled across the Triangle Shirtwaist factory fire, and watched dozens of garment workers hurl themselves to their deaths rather than be burned alive. That experience shamed her moral sense and purified her ambition. It was her call within a call.

      After that, she turned herself into an instrument for the cause of workers’ rights. She was willing to work with anybody, compromise with anybody, push through hesitation. She even changed her appearance so she could become a more effective instrument for the movement. She became the first woman in a United States cabinet, under Franklin D. Roosevelt, and emerged as one of the great civic figures of the 20th century.

      THE CONSCIENCE LEAP In most lives there’s a moment when people strip away all the branding and status symbols, all the prestige that goes with having gone to a certain school or been born into a certain family. They leap out beyond the utilitarian logic and crash through the barriers of their fears.

      The novelist George Eliot (her real name was Mary Ann Evans) was a mess as a young woman, emotionally needy, falling for every man she met and being rejected. Finally, in her mid-30s she met a guy named George Lewes. Lewes was estranged from his wife, but legally he was married. If Eliot went with Lewes she would be labeled an adulterer by society. She’d lose her friends, be cut off by her family. It took her a week to decide, but she went with Lewes. “Light and easily broken ties are what I neither desire theoretically nor could live for practically. Women who are satisfied with such ties do not act as I have done,” she wrote.

      She chose well. Her character stabilized. Her capacity for empathetic understanding expanded. She lived in a state of steady, devoted love with Lewes, the kind of second love that comes after a person is older, scarred a bit and enmeshed in responsibilities. He served her and helped her become one of the greatest novelists of any age. Together they turned neediness into constancy.

      Commencement speakers are always telling young people to follow their passions. Be true to yourself. This is a vision of life that begins with self and ends with self. But people on the road to inner light do not find their vocations by asking, what do I want from life? They ask, what is life asking of me? How can I match my intrinsic talent with one of the world’s deep needs?

      Their lives often follow a pattern of defeat, recognition, redemption. They have moments of pain and suffering. But they turn those moments into occasions of radical self-understanding — by keeping a journal or making art. As Paul Tillich put it, suffering introduces you to yourself and reminds you that you are not the person you thought you were.

      The people on this road see the moments of suffering as pieces of a larger narrative. They are not really living for happiness, as it is conventionally defined. They see life as a moral drama and feel fulfilled only when they are enmeshed in a struggle on behalf of some ideal.

      This is a philosophy for stumblers. The stumbler scuffs through life, a little off balance. But the stumbler faces her imperfect nature with unvarnished honesty, with the opposite of squeamishness. Recognizing her limitations, the stumbler at least has a serious foe to overcome and transcend. The stumbler has an outstretched arm, ready to receive and offer assistance. Her friends are there for deep conversation, comfort and advice.

      External ambitions are never satisfied because there’s always something more to achieve. But the stumblers occasionally experience moments of joy. There’s joy in freely chosen obedience to organizations, ideas and people. There’s joy in mutual stumbling. There’s an aesthetic joy we feel when we see morally good action, when we run across someone who is quiet and humble and good, when we see that however old we are, there’s lots to do ahead.

      The stumbler doesn’t build her life by being better than others, but by being better than she used to be. Unexpectedly, there are transcendent moments of deep tranquillity. For most of their lives their inner and outer ambitions are strong and in balance. But eventually, at moments of rare joy, career ambitions pause, the ego rests, the stumbler looks out at a picnic or dinner or a valley and is overwhelmed by a feeling of limitless gratitude, and an acceptance of the fact that life has treated her much better than she deserves.

      Those are the people we want to be.

      How to Eat Every 2 Hours to Lose Weight

      Originally posted on

      When you were a baby, you ate frequently --

      maybe as often as every 2 hours.

       You would eat when you were hungry and eat until you were full. As a child, your parents probably changed these eating habits to conform to society's norm of three meals per day. As an adult, this eating plan may not be the best for your body. If you are struggling to lose weight and are already including healthy eating and exercise into your day, changing your eating plan may give your metabolism a boost.

      Step 1

      Consume breakfast upon waking, even if it is only a piece of fruit, egg whites, yogurt or peanut butter on whole-wheat toast.

      Step 2

      Eat 2 hours later. Choose from a lean meat/cheese wrap, protein shake or a handful of almonds.

      Step 3

      Eat 2 hours later. Choose from a spinach salad with low-fat dressing, whole-wheat pasta with marinara sauce or a grilled chicken breast.

      Step 4

      Eat again in the early afternoon, 2 hours later. Pick a snack-sized food such as a pear, fruit salad, tuna cup or yogurt smoothie.

      Step 5

      njoy another snack 2 hours later. Pick a high-fiber or protein bar, hard-boiled egg or celery sticks.

      Step 6

      Choose your dinner 2 hours later. Search for foods such as fish and broccoli, a chicken sandwich on whole-wheat bread, a veggie burger or lean meat with a salad.

      Step 7

      Finish your evening with another light snack, such as berries or non-fat popcorn.


      • Before beginning this every-2-hour eating plan, speak with your doctor to see if it is right for you.


      • Eating every 2 hours does not allow you to eat unlimited calories. Maintaining an imbalance between calories you eat and the calories you burn off through exercise is key to weight loss.

      Things You'll Need

      • Healthy foods from each of the food groups

      14 habits of exceptionally likable people

      originally posted on

      If you've got high aspirations, talent and motivation are only prerequisites for an elite job. A charismatic personality is what really takes you to the top.

      Napoleon Hill, author of the best-selling 1937 book "Think and Grow Rich," explored the habits of the most likable people in his essay "Develop A Pleasing Personality," which was included in the book "The Science of Success."

      In the late 19th century, steel magnate Charles M. Schwab's charm elevated him from day laborer to an executive with a $75,000 salary and a frequent million-dollar bonus (unfathomable numbers for the time), according to Hill.

      The legendary industrialist Andrew Carnegie told Hill that "the yearly salary was for the work Schwab performed, but the bonus was for what Schwab, with his pleasing personality, could get others to do."

      Here are Hill's 14 habits of people who are so likable that others go out of their way to help them.


      here is nothing worse than having lost your sense of confidence. Having your internal voice telling you that you aren’t reaching your potential. Or hearing everyone tell you how great you are and all you can think is how you aren’t. Every turn on your path of life seems like a failure, and despite your best efforts to succeed you feel like you are aiming too high and completely missing the mark. These self-deprecating thoughts can cause someone to lose all stamina. Once that stamina is lost, it can adversely affect all areas of your life. You risk the idea of becoming a self fulfilling prophesy of doubt, which can spiral out of control when your subconscious becomes overly preoccupied with all the negative aspects of your life. But what if you could gain back your confidence? Life is about creating goals and new pathways. It is about taking your so-called “failed attempts” and turning them into learning experiences. By creating a melting pot of learning experiences we gain depth and knowledge. Surely, the road of life can be a bit bumpy at times, but if we never challenged our mind, wits, and confidence, life would be boring and we would simply be complacent. Complacent is a safe place when you aren’t looking to gain new perspectives and knowledge.

      But how does one get out of the state of complacency? Despite the strong urge to try something new, our subconscious mind hates the idea of change. We are creatures of habit and want to stay in a state of homeostasis. Our subconscious mind screams “I don’t want to change!” while our conscious mind spends hours trying to convince it that it does. With your subconscious out weighing your conscious mind 90% to 10%, creating change seems virtually impossible. Through hypnosis we can realign you conscious desire with your subconscious motivations. Thereby, putting you back in control of how you want to feel, and giving you confidence to step outside your comfort zone. When you can take baby steps you can learn to run. Each step forward on the path to success and obtaining your goals will help you gain confidence that will last a lifetime.


      Athletes are known for their drive, dedication, confidence, and love of the game. They dedicate hours to perfecting every detail of it. But what happens when you lose your confidence with a repeated sense of failure and loss. Once the subconscious mind registers these feelings of failure as something that could or will repeatedly happen, they can be extremely hard to shake before you step into the sports arena. Before each jump, shot, swing, punch, or test of your abilities you may psyche yourself out wondering will I do it right? What if I miss? What if I lose? All these negative emotions flood in causing a break in your concentration and wavering of your confidence. With each breakdown in your confidence and concentration you hinder your ability to move forward in turning each loss into a learning experience. What hypnosis helps athletes do is to practice subconsciously the perfect game. It works to increase your confidence and motivation. That each mis-step in the practice of sports is simply a learning experience that will motivate you to work harder and get better and better. By letting your subconscious aid you in the perfect game, instead of having it break your confidence, there is only room for exponential growth.

      Understanding Your Sleep Issue

      Cell phones, busy schedules, and stress have become constant reminders to our subconscious that getting a good night sleep comes second to be “on top of things”. At night when you lay in bed you might find that falling a sleep and staying asleep can become an increasingly daunting task. Disconnecting from the day, week, month, or even the year can leave us feeling helpless in our search for a good night sleep.

      As a hypnotherapist, I always ask my clients whether they are having issues sleeping, and 9/10 times the answer is YES.  The important thing for me to find out though, isn’t whether they are having sleep issues, but at what time of the night these issues are occur. Below is a description of the sleep issues that can be encountered and how these areas can be indicators or insight into why the sleep issues are happening.

      Trouble Falling Asleep

      Clients who come in stating that they have issues falling asleep tend to have a hard time digesting what has happened that day. This period of the sleep cycle is about letting go of, and processing, the things that have happened that day.

      For many people, their schedules are so full of tasks, emotions, stress, and being accountable to their emails, cell phones, and work that disassociating from the day can sometimes be virtually impossible. The thoughts of what happened that dat consume our mind, lead us to worry about what we might have forgotten to do, or if there is just one more email or call we need to check before we sign off and head to dreamland. Whats worse, is that after days and weeks of become tied finger to fist to our cell phones and computers, we have create a subconscious association that we need to be connected at all times. Thereby, stating to our subconscious that disconnecting to sleep (a time when you can recharge your batter) would simply be unadvisable.

      Waking Up in the Middle of the Night

      The middle of the sleeping period is typically tied with future thinking and thoughts. Those clients that come in stating that they are waking up in the middle of the night typically are having blockages, worry, or fear about something that is happening, going to happen, or could happen in the distant or near future. One common example, although not directly related to sleep issues as it pertains to this article, is when you have to be up early for a flight or to be somewhere at an unusually early hour. You may find that you wake up constantly throughout the night wondering if you had missed your wakeup call. That is your subconscious kicking in and worrying about the future.

      Early Morning Dreaming Period

      The early morning period tends to deal with you refusing to digest and vent out the issues that you are dealing with on a subconscious level. When people talk about the dreams that they had during the night, they are typically referring to this period of the sleep cycle. As hypnotherapist, this stage of dreaming can be very helpful in seeing what the client is currently venting out, or subconscious working through. For clients who find they wake up very early and have a hard time going back to bed, they may find that they are refusing to move past certain things in their life, and may even at times, become overwhelmed with the feelings of being stuck.

      Moving forward to getting a better night sleep starts by identifying which time of the night you are having problems sleep. If its falling asleep, you need to start to think of ways to disconnect from the day. If its the middle of the night, you need to begin to identify the things in the future that are eliciting this unwanted response of not being able to fall back asleep. If its the early morning dreaming period, begin to ask yourself what issues you may be sweeping under the carpet and not dealing with. Because the early morning venting dreaming period is like a jigsaw puzzle. Once you have put all the pieces together (moved past and vented out the emotions) you can then pack up the puzzle and put them away. Thereby, moving on with your life feeling unsuggestible to the negative emotions they had once brewed in your subconscious. 


      Hypnosis and Mediumship: Different Professions with the Same Desired State


      is defined as the practice of certain people—known as mediums—to mediate communication between spirits of the dead and other human beings. While no evidence has been accepted by the scientific community in support of the view that there has been communication between the living and the dead, some parapsychologists say that some of their research suggests that such communication may have taken place.


      As a hypnotherapist I have been trained to lead sessions in past life regression, and on more than one occasion have been asked whether I personally believe if these visualizations are actualized past lives or just the minds way of explaining underlying emotions. Certainly, everyone has heard ghost stories, experienced strange bumps in the nights, or chills when entering a room. There have been many movies such as Ghost and the Sixth Sense which outline the connection between the living and the spirit world. But the question of how does this bridge between the two worlds become created. While I have struggled with answering these questions myself, I was given some relatively interesting insight while meeting with a Medium who explained a bit more about her skill and studies about her talent.

      During my training as a Hypnotherapist my curiosity has always lead me down the science based path in explaining the theories that explain the hypnotic state. Thus, when a client enters into a deep state of hypnosis their brainwave activity exhibits theta waves. However, what was pointed out to me recently, by a medium, is that when she enters into her medium-state,  opening her connection to the spirit world, this is also the theta state.

      Clients when they enter into hypnosis will move through three stages, where the deepest one is the theta state and can be characterized by the eyes rolling backward as if they were looking out of the minds third eye, located in the center of your forehead.

      For both Mediums and Hypnotists reaching the theta state is the ultimate goal. However, mediums desire this state for communication with the spirit world, while hypnotists seek it for creating changes in behaviors in their clients.

      While working with this Medium, she had asked me specifically to help her go in and out of the theta state easily so she could relay information to her clients and then go back to theta state. While in the theta state, clients express having feelings of lightness, floating, and a disassociation from their body. Focus becomes very clear to the task at hand, and visualizations, sensations, and auditory perceptions can become increasingly heightened. For the purpose of hypnosis, I use this state to describe the end results/goals that a client wants. I have them feel what it will be like, see what it will look like, hear what it will sound like, so they can create a road map to where they are going. Thereby, bringing forward new behaviors and patterns when awakened from the hypnotic state. While working with the Medium, I utilized the power of her breath to draw her up from level to level. That each breath in she took, it was as if she was drawing herself higher toward connecting with the spirit world. As she felt her body relaxing, and her thoughts disassociating from her body, we began to elevate her awareness out of her body allowing it to lift up towards this high energy level out of her minds third eye. From there it was all about having her just listen and watch. In order to have her be able to go in and out of the theta state, she would simply count down from 5-0. Zero would be her trigger to go deep into the theta state. To rely information she would simply tell herself open your eyes and convey the message. To go back into the state it was 5-0 count down. To shut the door to the spiritual world it was as simple as counting herself back from 0-5. At 5 her eyes were open and wide awake with no connection to the spiritual world.

      While there is no direct explanation for whether the theta state can be used as a gateway to connecting with the spirit world, I certainly do know it can be used to create positive changes in my clients lives. Changes that they want. I also can attest to the fact (from having talked with many of my clients after their session who have entered the theta state) that while in this deep state, they are able more apt to listening to their inner guides. Or as some have described it, their spiritual guides, or even their gut/intuition. While I have no scientific evidence to provide for backing up past life regression, I do find that many clients come out of their travels with a sense of relief, direction, and purpose. It’s as if they come forward into their currently life understanding the reasons for a unwanted behavior that no longer serves a purpose in their life. For Mediumship, this state can be used to listen, observe, and feel the sixth sense that many believe we have been given since birth, but have just been taught to deafen. By opening up our minds third eye in this state we can begin to create a new connection to the past lives of those we have lost, or simply to just create the changes that we want that we having been blocking.


      I had originally written this blog post for my friend Nicole Jardim who owns the site

      Fight or Flight? This is the question we face everyday when our stress levels peak and anxiety takes control.

      Society has dictated that neither is an acceptable response. But what our bodies fail to let us forget is that we are in fact animals, and within us lives a primitive instinct to run or fight in the face of uncomfortable situations. If our animal instincts dominated us completely, we’d either run for the hills or stand and fight.  Alas, we are humans and have buried this primitive behavior – replacing it with depression, anxiety, stress, and feelings of overwhelm.

      As a Hypnotherapist, I find that stress is at the root of most presenting issues.  Two questions that I ask my clients (which at first may seem rather random) but are quite relevant are:

      1. Are you experiencing any tension or tightness in your body that you or a medical doctor is unable to explain?
      2. When you think about your issue, where do you feel tightness or tension in your body?

      When stress cannot be released through fight or flight, it goes inward to our bodies as a “body syndrome”. Each body syndrome is directly correlated to a feeling or struggle that that individual is experiencing. A description of the various body syndromes is described below:

      Arms and Hands

      Reaching or fighting for the unobtainable.

      Legs and Feet
      Trying to escape or run away from an issue.

      Stomach and Lower Back
      Guilt, worry, and sometimes even sexual frustration.

      Head down to sternum
      Called the Crying Syndrome, this syndrome has to do with persons who are having a hard time making decisions or expressing their emotions.

      Too much responsibility, and at times not wanting it.

      If the tension is on the right side of the body, it deals with logic and finance, while the left side has to do with creativity and relationships.

      By beginning to understand where in your body the stress is presenting itself, you can begin to recognize how to alleviate the symptoms.

      Remember, not all stress is unwanted or bad. What if I told you that we all need a required amount of stress to function at peak performance? Stress, while it tends to carry with it a negative connotation, plays a very important role in our daily lives. When our stress levels are too low, we can become unmotivated, unfocused, or even lazy.

      However, finding this balance of peak performance can be tricky as our motivations, societal obligations and pressures, and job requirements can often push us into the over- stimulated and overwhelmed category. Here, our bodies become taxed as stress moves inward and we lose our sense of control—our animal fight or flight kicks in.  And yet despite knowing the benefits of maintaining control, we are unable to disassociate in order to return to peak performance.

      So why can’t we allow ourselves to relax in order to feel the benefits of returning to peak performance, thus letting go of the stress, anxiety, and overwhelm? This is because our subconscious mind is made up of known associations that we have been creating and embedding in our subconscious since birth. For example, we have made the association that disconnecting from the day may have negative consequences. This association becomes stored in our subconscious, which makes up 88% of our mind. The remaining 12% is our conscious mind, which is where our logic, reasoning, and willpower reside. No wonder creating change on a conscious level can be so hard when you are only working with 12% of your mind!

      The subconscious is purely reactive.  Thus, when your conscious mind says ‘its time to go to bed and turn off the phone,’ your subconscious rebels and says ‘this isn’t how I have been programmed to react,’ and it refuses to switch off, needing to check the phone or email one last time resulting in spiraling thoughts and sleeplessness. While your conscious knows that by disconnecting you would be doing yourself a big service in getting a good night’s rest, your subconscious refuses to respond in tandem with the conscious because the idea of change is scary. It’s much easier for the subconscious to stay the same, and in turn why habits and patterns are so hard to break.

      So what does one do when faced with these situations?

      1.    Thank your subconscious mind

      When you feel anxious or nervous and cannot consciously identify the cause, this is your subconscious reacting to an embedded trigger that something feels uncomfortable. Very often we don’t recognize the things that trigger us on the subconscious level. Thank your subconscious and begin the process of deductive reasoning to understand what is subconsciously triggering you to react in such a way.

      2.    Listen to your intuition

      Ask yourself, what is it about this situation that is causing your subconscious to react? Could this be your intuition saying this is a bad idea? or this brings up unpleasant or painful memories? Would changing your thought or actions help you re-route your stress and anxiety toward a more calm and relaxed state?

       3.    Take a deep breath

      When anxiety hits, your breathing is normally shallow, short, and from high in the chest. Take a deep breath—breathe from the tips of your toes.  With each breath make your stomach move in and out rather than your chest. This breathing technique will elicit, on a chemical level, a reverse reaction to the anxiety in your body.

      One thing we can learn from smokers is that the reason they feel so calm after a cigarette isn’t because of the tobacco, or the thousands of chemicals that are in it. But rather, their deep relaxation is due to the way they are breathing. Each ‘drag’ is bringing oxygen deeper into their diaphragm eliciting a calming reaction in their body. Each deep breath relaxes them.

      Begin to notice if you are breathing from shallow in your chest. Start taking in deep breathes of fresh air, which in turn will naturally begin to start a chemical reaction to calm your body. Thereby reversing the fight or flight reaction.

      4. Realize you have a choice

      When anxiety hits, think of it as standing at a fork in the road. To the left is the path to feeling out of control and anxious. To the right, is the path that leads to relaxation and calm; this is the path where you are in control of your body and thoughts. Empower yourself to choose which road to take. Simply, these two paths cannot coexist. With your knowledge and understanding of anxiety and stress on the subconscious level, you are now empowered to take control.

      As a certified hypnotherapist I work with clients to begin to create new associations within the subconscious mind so that they can create the changes they want in their conscious life. By creating these changes, clients are able to bring forward new patterns, habits, and behaviors where even small changes snowball into larger ones. Begin to live the life you imagine. Balance and align your conscious desires with your subconscious motivations. When you are working with 100% of your mind, change becomes much easier.



      Crystal Dyer’s studio is made up of a several small rooms, one leading into the next like a series of dimly lit caves. The ceilings are low and many of the walls are ripped up, exposing puffy insulation and thick metal wires. A large black sheet of peeling wallpaper hangs off the wall; this is Crystal’s newest canvas. Ivory muslin is draped over the corners in the main room, where a candle burn

      To Crystal, a multimedia artist,  spaces often act as a representation of the mind, and in this case her space also reflects a great deal about her work. Her drawings indicate a sensibility that is at once methodical and mystical, clinical and expressive. Her current project, “Hypnosis Drawings,” is characteristic of both late 19th century occult practices and medical anthropology (picture a séance held in a doctor’s laboratory). And past projects have similarly involved such a pairing of the spiritual to the scientific. Process isn’t the only objective though—her work, and its primary intention, is based on self-discovery: “It’s a process of knowing, studying and learning myself, ” she explains. Far from self-important, however, her work draws more from Jungian concepts of the self and psychoanalysis than from the pool of narcissism. Her thirst for knowledge is her motivation and what makes her drawings so interesting. She locates a point between spirituality and science that is seldom visited in contemporary art, and her patience with her work, or “experiments,” is remarkable.

      Eugenie Dalland: Tell me about what you’re working on right now.

      Crystal Dyer: In November I went to see a hypnotist at Theta Springs Hypnosison 27th Street [in Manhattan]—I’ve never been hypnotized before. I’d read a lot about it, and I’d been thinking of doing this project for a long time. The hypnotist was really into my idea so she hypnotized me, recorded it and let me use [the recording] for post-hypnotic suggestion—that’s technically what its called. So I listen to it and I do drawings.

      Eugenie: So you hypnotize yourself?

      Crystal: Yes, but it’s different than self-hypnosis. It’s a deeper state. I’ve tried doing self-hypnosis, and it’s more just relaxing. This one is specifically for me and for doing drawings.

      Eugenie: It’s specifically designed for making art?

      Crystal: Yes, it’s for doing a drawing by getting information from your subconscious.

      Eugenie: What is it like being hypnotized?

      Crystal: Well, you’re conscious of what you’re doing but you’re like, “Why am I nodding my head right now?” It’s really fascinating. I want to be honest with my artwork, and hypnosis makes you more focused and less distracted. It really is an amazing experience, one where I’m fully conscious that I’m being hypnotized but feeling and seeing visions that the hypnotist dictates.

      Eugenie: That sounds incredible..

      Crystal: I definitely recommend it! People have been studying it for a long time. Actually, most of my research has been reading books I get off eBay from the 1940s and 1950s about hypnotherapy.

      Eugenie: Which in particular?

      To read more from this article click here….


      An at home weight loss program available for purchase that helps you lose weight on a deeper, more powerful level by simply breathing, listening, and changing.

       A subconscious reprogramming that helps you lose the weight you have struggled with for years.  

      Hypnotherapist, Alexandra Janelli has released her Weight Loss Hypnotherapy Program that utilizes the power of the mind over body technique to help clients create the changes they want in their lives.  By harnessing the power of the subconscious mind, weight loss is as easy as:

      Breathe. Listen. Change.

      Having worked with numerous clients on weight loss issues from sugar cravings and binge eating to portion control and virtual Shrinking Stomachs, Alexandra has helped her clients gain control of food and change the subconscious associations clients have about food. Through her extensive research and work with clients, Alexandra has developed her 6 session Weight Loss Hypnosis Program that allows clients to create the changes they want from the comfort of their own homes.

      Attaining a healthy lifestyle has never been easier on the Weight Loss Hypnotherapy Program. Each session allows you to harness the power of your subconscious mind, helping you lose weight, curb cravings and gain control of your relationship with food.  As stress and resistance fade, unwanted body fat will be released and your energy and metabolism will increase.

      This dynamic program helps clients:

      • Building a Foundation for a new healthy body and lifestyle
      • Decreasing resistance to working out
      • Evolving to a smaller stomach capacity to prevent over eating
      • Thinking thin by resetting the internal image of their body
      • Eliminating their suggestibility toward past negative experiences
      • Providing motivation for continued success so efforts feel ingrained and not fragile

      While working with several clients on this program, including myself (I lost a total of 24lbs), I found there were a notable reoccurring themes that formed the basis of a successful weight loss program. This is how the foundation of the Weight Loss Hypnosis program was born. Since not everyone lives in New York City, I wanted to be able to share this ability to attain a healthy weight with the world through a hypnosis program that is representative of the success I have had in my private practice.

      Hypnosis works by creating new associations within the subconscious, which accounts for 88% of our minds. Our subconscious is purely reactive and has no logic, reason, or willpower- that’s in the 12% of our conscious minds. These associations we make about food, our weight, how we look, and stomach capacity become locked in as knowns. Breaking these old habits and associations with willpower alone is fighting 12% verse 88%. Hypnosis helps to understand the subconscious associations and then change them. Putting you in control by creating a roadmap to success, rather than driving in the dark toward what might be.

      You can learn more about the Weight Loss Hypnotherapy program by visiting:

      The Program is available for purchase on



      Hypnosis in the Medical Community?

      Hypnotherapy has made great strides within the medical community as a powerful form of alternative healthcare. Hypnotherapy provides the patient with the ability to heal their mind and body on a deeper level. By harnessing the power of the subconscious, which represents 88% of our mind, patients are able to heal from the inside out. Medical research has shown higher recovery rates post-surgery, a decrease in fears relating to medical procedures, a decreased need for post-operative pain medication, and an increase in the overall mood and wellbeing of the patient.

      For non-medical uses, hypnotherapy plays a significant role in helping individuals problems such as: fears, phobias, nail biting and other behaviors that lack explainable causes. Stress in modern day society has taken a toll on our bodies, and when our innate function of fight or flight is suppressed, those tensions (including nervousness, anxiety, stress) can cause mild to severe body syndromes ranging from nail biting and scratching, stomach issues, sleep problems to even head aches. By releasing these tensions and giving the individual a subconscious means of dealing with the problem, the mind becomes the biggest asset to healing rather than its greatest opponent.

      Additionally, hypnotherapy plays an important role in the continuity of care following medical diagnosis. When patients are prescribed new life-style changes, such as diets, regimens, and routines, there can be a period of resistance within the subconscious mind. Resisting these life-sustaining measures can lead clients back into illness. While the medical treatment has been completed, many patients are left on their own to support these drastic life-style changes, making hypnotherapy the perfect adjunct for the medical community. By changing the subconscious associations that clients have about their new diets, regimes, and routines the continued success of the doctor’s care and clients health is supported.

      The patients’ health is everyone’s primary goal. By recognizing the potential of the subconscious mind in the process of healing and creating changes, Hypnotherapy can become a greater proponent for the patients’ health. The medical community is slowly adopting this option as a supplement to traditional medical solutions.

      Is Hypnotherapy Integrated Medicine?

      While idea of hypnotherapy is nonconventional, its success is derived directly from the outcome of its users. These users range from cancer treatment patients and pain management seekers, fertility clinics, to nail biters, and people looking to decrease and manage stress and anxiety in their lives. Whatever the reason for utilizing hypnotherapy this mind and body approach taps into the subconscious mind, which is later used to treat the person, not just the presenting issues or disease. While hypnotherapy is still labeled as nonconventional, it should be emphasized that in the realm of mainstream medicine the term complimentary medicine is becoming increasingly popular in describing it. Be it as a standalone treatment or as an adjunct to medical treatments, its uses are vast and inspiring.

      Complimentary and alternative healthcare: are those practices not commonly used within Western medicine. While there is certainly a time and a place for conventional western practices, there is a whole realm of complimentary and alternative services that can be provided to clients to help in their preventative, occurring, and sustainable care.  Some of these alternative and complimentary healthcare practices include:

      • Acupuncture includes the insertion of small needles below the skin, and may include the application of heat, pressure, or massage.  This ancient technique is based on the belief that a force (or energy) called “Qi” flows throughout the body. When our Qi becomes blocked sickness and illness may occur. By unblocking this energy the body can restore its proper flow and balance to the body.
      • Chiropractic’s includes the manipulation of the neuromusculoskeletal system to return the body to alignment in order for the body to remain balanced in order to achieve the vitalistics of innate intelligence. Chiropractic treatment techniques include manual therapy, as well as, the manipulation of the spine,  additional joints, and soft tissue.
      • Homeopathy works on the premise that “like cures like.” Simply stated, it holds that a disease can be cured by a substance that is known to produce similar symptoms in a healthy person. This notion also includes the “law of minimal dose,” which outlines that the lower the dose of this prescribed treatment substance the more effective it will be. Many of the homeopathic remedies that are prescribed are derived from plants, minerals, and animals and are prepared as gels, drops, creams, ointments or tablets.
      • Hypnotherapy at deals directly with the subconscious mind in order to focus on the interactions of the brain, mind, body and behavior. By tapping into the subconscious mind to create positive changes, clients are able to affect their physical functioning and promote health. By understand the power of the subconscious mind, which is built from known associations gathered from birth, hypnotists can help clients create new associations whereby, putting the past into perspective while increasing their overall sense of wellbeing and balance.
      • Massage Therapy encompasses many different techniques. In general, therapists press, rub, and otherwise manipulate the muscles and other soft tissues of the body. People use massage for a variety of health-related purposes, including to relieve pain, rehabilitate sports injuries, reduce stress, increase relaxation, address anxiety and depression, and aid general well-being.
      • Aromatherapy uses essential oils from plants to treat various problems such as headaches, muscle and rheumatic pain, digestive disorders, skin conditions, or stress and anxiety.  These concentrated oils that have been distilled from a variety of natural substances may be inhaled or massaged into the skin.


      The entire country has been hit with a cold front. Stepping outside to inhale carcinogens into you lungs in this cold weather not only increase your risk of cancer but increases your risk of catch a cold or the flu.  With my Breath Listen Change technique you can end your addition to cigarettes and keep that New Year's resolution.

      Cigarettes are filled with chemical stimulants. What relaxes you is the deep breath from inhaling the smoke. It's why we say 'take  a deep breath.' Imagine the same soothing feeling, without the chemicals. By utilizing the Breathe, Listen, Change Technique, overcoming the fear, addiction, and need for cigarettes has never been as relaxing and easy. 

      Why turn yourself into a Popsicle all to just increase your risk of getting sick.  Hypnotherapy is an effective way to quick smoking and end your risk of serious illness.   Learn about our revolutionary Breath, Listen Change technique today.


      Anxiety can contribute to heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and even suicide The current sensory overloaded instant gratification lifestyle we all lead now is contributing to a great degree of anxiety and anxiety related ailments.

      We all lead very busy lives now and try to manage an amazing amount information. Most of us ill equipped to handle what it being throw at us. Anxiety is an alert from the subconscious that something in that moment doesn't feel right and is triggering us back to a certain unwanted feeling or time.  Anxiety and relaxation can not co-exist.

      What if you could thank the anxiety like thanking your smoke detector that beeps when the batteries need replacing. Thank it for letting you know there is an issue. You can take control of the situation to say "I can handle this" and begin to calm the body.

      How can you win the war you ask. Seek out an anxiety relief hypnotherapy program. A good program can teach you techniques that can help you us the power of your subconscious to let go of anxiety and achieve stress-free relief. The Breath, Listen Change program I have developed can help you be in the moment and stop worrying about the future.  It can help you left go of the past and find a calm place in any situation.

      Take time to find a qualified hypnotherapist and they will help you win the war on anxiety.  Relaxation has never been so easy.

       Monday 12pm-8pm
      Tuesday 9am-6pm
      Thursday: 12-pm-8pm

      Modrn Sanctuary
      12 W 27th Street –  9th Floor
      New York, NY 10001
      Between Broadway and 6th Avenue